Ending My Journal

Here's an excerpt from my most recent journal. I had to take a break from writing with pen and paper to keep a digital journal for a little while since my life has been so hectic in the last 6-7 months, but I am happy to be finishing that up and going back to good a good ol' fashioned physical journal. I thought I would share my closing thoughts on my 123rd journal.

"And as April comes to an end, I think it’s time that volume 123 does, too. Luke thinks I should break it up into two different volumes, or maybe three, since there’s approx. 270 pages of typed font here, but I don’t know where I would break it up at and I feel like it would still have to be part one and part two since all of this just kind of goes together. I feel like I set out in September on this journey of digital journaling and it has been really weird and crazy and here I am 7 months later, just now wrapping it up. I went from being jumbo pregnant to having a 5, almost 6, month old who is quite a handful. I set out not knowing what he would look like, act like, how big he would be, or what being a mom held in store for me and here I am not only getting used to being a mom but getting to where it’s weird to think of what things were like before… Everyone knows that they grow fast but it’s an entirely different thing to watch your own grow and change. And while you see it over time, it somehow manages to completely escape your daily notice. How does something happen right underneath your nose without you being aware of it? There are all of these tiny milestones you reach and see them overcome, like following something with their eyes, grabbing things, holding their own head up, cooing, cutting teeth… while it seems exciting and big at the moment, it quickly becomes commonplace and you forget that they couldn’t do that just a few days before and you’re already on to the next thing they’re doing… Next thing you know, you’re looking back and see all of the things that they have conquered and all of the ways that they have changed, right while you were looking at them, only you realize you barely recognize them in some ways and yet you know them completely in others. It’s hard to explain and I know, being only 6 months in, that I am still at the very beginning of this wild and crazy journey. One that I am sure is full of a lot of tears, and hopefully a lot more laughs… God knows I’ve shed more than enough tears already in these first 5 months with some of our complications! I am excited to see where we are headed from here and see my baby boy grow and become a little man of God – and eventually be a big brother and watch our family grow from three to more.

The End"